Wednesday, 19 August 2015


Spencer’s eyes went wide when he realised I was shocked, I still had no idea if he was proposing. Why would he propose when we had no idea when he was coming back and I still had my own concerns when it comes to our relationship?

“Holy fucking shit Dri, that wasn’t me proposing” his face softened as he cupped my cheeks. “I want to know what you want, yes we’ve spoken about our future and we’ve both agreed marriage isn’t something we want right now but you have never once said that you can see yourself being married to me, to spending the rest of your life with me. Early on you said you want kids, a dog and a house with a white picket fence but nothing about me” he frowned at me and in that comment I wanted to melt.

Spencer and I have never been one on feelings, this whole weekend has consisted of probably the deepest conversations we’ve ever had and I didn’t know how to handle it anymore after everything we went through before he left.

“You broke up with me, you changed everything about what was us. You broke me, you can’t just come back and say how much you love me and that you want me to marry you to make me forget what happened. We can’t have that conversation until what is broken is fixed and we can’t fix it until you come home Spencer” I spoke softly trying to keep the anger out of my voice because I didn’t want this to turn into an argument.

Spencer’s face dropped and I saw hurt flash through his eyes, I hated hurting him like this but we both know I’m right. “Fine, I’m going to Alec’s have fun with the girls” his voice sounded distant and I didn’t like it.

“We’re not going to finish the shower?” I spoke seductively while pressing closer to him.

“Maybe later…” was all he said before he got out of the shower and left me alone completely confused.

I turned and banged my head against the wall while the water was running down my back, how the hell did our nice moment in bed this morning turn into this and I still have no idea if what he said was him proposing and he covered up once he realised I was shocked and might not say yes.

I quickly finished up in the shower before messaging Emery and Sutton demanding them to come over now before we down to the spa for the day and I was grateful it didn’t take them long to turn up.

“Dri stop” Sutton demanded after noticing I hadn’t stopped pacing, I stopped for a moment and looked at her before shaking my head and continue my pacing.

“I’ll ring Alec, something tells me something happened with Spencer” Emery threatened when I looked at her she had her phone at her ear.

“Don’t call Alec, I’ll tell you alright just give me a minute” I finally stopped and collapsed on the couch.

“Dri…” they both said after I didn’t speak.

“Alright so somehow marriage got brought up this morning and Spencer asked if I ever thought about marrying him but his wording made it seem like he was proposing and then I freaked. He quickly covered himself up saying it wasn’t a proposal but then he left, then I messaged you both”

“Wait are you saying he proposed, with a ring and all?” Sutton exclaimed but Emery hit her over the arm. “owe” Sutton complained while rubbing her arm.

“No, there was no ring and Spencer claims it wasn’t a proposal but his wording, I can’t get it out of my head”

“Do you want to marry Spencer?” Emery asked and I went silent not knowing how to answer the question.

“Sweetie put aside everything that happened, him moving to London and the break up. Before that letter from Nathan even turned up had you ever considered marrying Spencer?” Sutton spoke after she came over and put her arms around me knowing how distressed I was getting.

“I love Spencer and everything that happened doesn’t change that, what’s changed is my trust that he won’t do it again” I spoke softly as I closed my eyes trying to hold back my tears and it wasn’t long before I felt Emery on my other side.

I opened my eyes and looked out in front of me not wanting to face the girls, “if Spencer proposed before the break up, I would have said yes and then proceeded to freak out the following day about what I just got myself into”

“There’s your answer Dri, you need to explain that to him because chances are he is just as freaked out by your conversation as you are” I nodded my head at Emery’s comment.

“Good now go get dressed” Sutton laughed before pushing me off the couch, I was still sitting here with a towel wrapped around me.

I made it through the day at the spa with the girls and neither one of them asked about Spencer or what happened between the two of us and I was grateful. I was completely worried they were going to spend the whole day bugging me about what I just confessed but instead they acted like nothing ever happened.

I was currently sitting on the couch hugging my knees wondering when Spencer was going to come back, I had tried calling him but it kept going to voice mail. I was worried I completely fucked up with him, I may have been the reason there was distance between us but did he lie once again last when he said he would try everything in his power to win me back.

I heard the door open and I didn’t want to look just in case it wasn’t Spencer and it was the girls, if Spencer didn’t come back here tonight then I would be completely and utterly worried.

“Are you alright?” I heard Spencer’s voice before I saw him, my stomach did flips at the sound of his voice and I gave him a small smile.

“I didn’t know if you were coming back here, I was worried after this morning when you just left. I tried to ring you but it went straight to voice mail”

“Of course I would come back, I told you I was just going to Alec’s. I left my phone here by mistake, it must have died, I’m sorry I worried you” he leaned down and kissed the top of my head before sitting down in front of me.

“Its fine, you just all of a sudden left and I wasn’t sure if you were mad or hurt”

“Its fine, I get it Dri, I completely fucked up but you were the one that wanted me to ask what was on my mind”

“I know and as for you asking about what I wanted in my future, before everything happened yes I could see myself marrying you but Spencer you still broke up with me and you’re in London, it won’t instantly go away the moment you come home”

“I know Dri, now here open your present” I watched as he pulled an envelope out of his back pocket and handed it to me.

I was confused as I opened the envelope and pulled out two tickets, two first class tickets to Rome to be exact. I looked at them before looking up at Spencer and looking back down at them, they’re to be used over Christmas.

“Spence what did I just say?”

“I know but the other ticket isn’t for me, it’s for Lee. I want you and Lee to spend Christmas in Rome, just like you were meant to…” he trailed off not wanting to finish that sentence but I knew what he meant.

The Christmas after my dad died we were meant to go to Rome, it was all planned before the accident but then it happened and my mother cancelled the trip and at the time Lee and I were grateful but as it got closer to Christmas I wished the trip was still on.

I may have travelled a bit since his death but Rome was the one place I could never go. “Spencer I can’t accept this, it’s too much and you know Lee won’t”

“Then tell her it’s her birthday present as well, my present to the both of you. Dri you’ve always wanted to go to Italy, take this and go, go with your sister. Find some secluded park and remember your dad”

“Thank you, it means a lot Spencer. I love you” I leaned over and softly pressed my lips against his.

“I love you too Dri” he mumbled against my lips and in that moment what happened earlier in the day was long forgotten.


  1. Where does one find a "Spencer" for themselves?!

    1. Trust me, I want my very own Spencer and I'm trying very hard but I'm also glad I'm making him such a lovable character!

  2. I was on the fence about Spencer since he broke up with her but after this post I'm back on Team Spencer

    1. I'm glad you're back on team Spencer, I know a few people decided not to like him after the break up but I have a method for my madness :)

  3. A trip to Rome! Girl you need to marry him, lol. I was a little unsure of him since he broke up with her also but have been liking him more each time he comes back to visit.

    1. Everyone seems to be unsure about Spencer and I'm glad I'm pulling everyone back to his side