Saturday, 12 September 2015

Realisation (Past)

“Dri you need to break up with him” Emery spoke but I just ignored her.

This was Emery and Sutton’s lame ass attempt at an intervention, they both believed I should break up with Nathan, it was something I’ve heard a few times now but I couldn’t.

I couldn’t break up with Nathan, I loved him, I truly did and it wasn’t entirely his fault for his actions. It wasn’t like he was physically abusive but when I explained this they turned around and said emotional was a type of abuse as well.

They both thought he was manipulative and controlling but I couldn’t see it, they said how I was always dressing to impress him was controlling, I should dress for myself but I just shook off their concerns. They didn’t have boyfriends, they didn’t understand what it meant to keep them happy.

“Come to the movies with us and then we have a girls night, we haven’t done that in forever” Sutton claimed and when I looked at her she was begging me.

“Can’t, I have plans with Nathan, speaking of which I should get ready”

“Blow him off, he’s stood you up so many times”

“He won’t be happy Emery” I replied and she rolled her eyes at me.

I was expecting more of a fight from them both on this so when they let me go and get ready for my date with Nathan I was surprised but they did stay until he picked me up.

“Have I told you look beautiful tonight baby?” Nathan spoke and I instantly smiled at that.

We were currently sitting in the back of his car talking, it was too cold to walk the streets and we wanted privacy, so his car it was.

“No you haven’t but thank you”

“I just wished you would have worn a different dress, I like to show you off” I frowned at his comment.

“I thought you liked this dress?”

“I do, you just have so many other dresses that look so much better than that one” he spoke as his fingers trailed up and down my bare arms.

“Emery and Sutton suggested the dress” I noticed him tense but I twisted my head around to look at him, I gave him a smile and placed my hand on his cheek.

“I don’t like you hanging around those two, they’re a bad influence on you” I pulled away from him, I knew by the look on his face he wasn’t happy but I had never not once heard him say that my friends were a bad influence, only that he didn’t like them.

Is this what my two best friends meant by everything? Had Nathan been spending too much time with my mother, was I brushing everything aside because I was naïve or was I just too stupid to see the truth.

“Why do you think they’re a bad influence?”

“Because they make you do things that don’t make you happy babe” he leaned towards me in the car and placed a hand on my cheek. “Babe I’m just trying to make you happy, but I can’t see them doing the same, I’ve planned out a future for the both of us, something that will make us happy. We will stay here and you can work while I study…”

“Hang on, why aren’t I in college in this dream future”

“You don’t need to study further baby, we will be fine”

“No I want to go to college” he shook his head at me as a dark look appeared.

“Baby college will stress you out, you don’t need some unrequired stress. You’ll stay at home and raise our family while I work”

“Woah, who said I want a family”

“Baby a family will make you happy” he spoke but there was a hint of anger to his tone.

“Take me home please, I’m getting tired” I pretended to yawn and his face finally softened.

“Of course baby but promise me you will think about what I said”

“Of course babe, I just need some sleep” I gave him a small smile, hoping he wouldn’t realise it was fake.

Once I was back in my room I was pleased to see that Emery and Sutton haven’t left, I took one look at them before bursting into tears. I couldn’t believe all it took was once comment from him that my mother has said before to make me realise what they’ve been trying to tell me all along.

They took one look at me crying before coming over and hugging me between them, they didn’t say anything. Just guided me and told me to wash my face and getting ready for bed before getting ready themselves and joining me.

I was just glad when I woke up it was Saturday, I didn’t have to go to school and I’m glad that my mother was away on some spa weekend with the other drunk mothers.

“What happened last night?” Emery spoke once we were seated in the kitchen, we were alone since dad had just left and taken Lee with him.

“Something he said, there was a comment about you two and my mother’s said it like a billion times. It was then I realised that maybe everything you’ve said is right” my eyes welled again and they shared a look.

“Dri calm down we aren’t mad, we were just worried about you” Sutton spoke as Emery was looking through the fridge for something.

“Why am I so stupid? I saw Cara go through the same thing but yet I let myself go through the same thing”

“Dri you’re situation with Nathan is completely different to what Cara had with Ryan” Emery finally spoke when she pulled out the bottle of orange juice.

“What do I do?”

“Break up with him” Emery spoke and I looked at her, there was no way I could do that. I loved him.

“I love Nathan”

“So did Cara, what about all the rumours about him cheating on you? Or all the other rumours we’ve heard, come on Dri we’ve had to sit here and watch you cry after yet another girl came up and said that they Nathan hit on them or tried to have sex with them or even succeeded of having sex with them? You always believed him when he said he didn’t but what if he was lying, what if he was manipulating you?”

I took a deep breath before opening my mouth to speak but I didn’t know what to say so instead I hung my head. I couldn’t believe all of this, how could one little sentence change everything, change the way I saw him, change the way I saw everything?

“Dri ring him now, break up with him over the phone”

“Why?” I questioned Emery knowing if I said anymore my voice would break

“Be honest here but if you met up with him would you or would you not believe whatever came out of his mouth?”

“Fine” I held my hand out for my phone and Emery placed it in my hand

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