Is Everything Ruined?

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and are excited for the beginning of the new year. Take this as a belated Christmas present from me to you.

I have spent a bit of my holidays writing and coming up with ideas on which the story will be going next and what is the plans for the Dri's future so I will be coming back to posting regularly.

My first post will the first Monday of the new year and to begin with it will be every Monday following that and I'm excited to see how you all respond to my ideas.

Déjà vu

Thank you to everyone for being so understanding in a time like this, I know before the passing my posts were a bit over the place and the only thing I can do is apologise for that.

This post is sort of a bonus as I'm not planning on being back to posting regularly. I'm sorry for the wait but I'm traveling over the holidays and hopefully in the new year I will be able to post more regularly. So for all of you regular readers of mine that I'm hoping I still have, please wait a little bit longer.

Broken Families

I'm sorry for the lack of posts, I know I should have mentioned something before now but I had a family member admitted to hospital and unfortunately they passed away. I have been grieving with my family for the loss. All of this aside the last couple of posts have strayed from where I originally planned on this blog going.

I will be taking a break for a bit to deal with the loss and work out where this story is going.

Am I Always This Stupid?

“Dri where the hell are you?” I heard Emery’s voice but I ignored her. I had been ignoring both her and Sutton’s attempts at speaking to me.

I got home only two days ago. I had originally wanted nothing more than to talk to my two best friends but getting home and stepping foot in the apartment, well let’s say everything snapped.

I wanted out of Spencer’s apartment. I don’t know why I was stupid enough to move in here. Why didn’t I just find a new apartment? I had been thinking about looking for one that was slightly bigger anyway, so this is what I had been doing for two days, apartment hunting.

“Jeez, Dri. Why have you been ignoring me? I know Sutton hasn’t spoken to you either.” I looked up realising that Emery had found me hiding in my room.

“Go away Emery.” I snapped, instantly regretting that decision.

“No! I’ve got no idea what the hell happened when you went back home but it doesn’t give you the right to talk to me like this, or even ignore both me and Sutton!” Emery yelled at me. Tears started to well up in my eyes.

“Dri, what is going on?” Emery walked over and sat beside me on the bed.

“I just can’t deal with this right now.” I know she can tell I’m hiding something from her and I don’t know how she will react to it.

“Give me this.” Emery made a reach for the laptop.

“No don’t…” but it was useless, Emery was too quick.

I stayed quiet as I sat there watching Emery look over the screen. I knew she would have seen that I was looking at apartments but she hadn’t said anything and I was getting worried.

“Here. This one is good.” She handed the laptop back and I was shocked that she didn’t question what I was doing.

“What…?” I asked not even looking at what she picked out.

“Dri, I’ve known you pretty much my whole life. Our dads’ were best friends and partners. I know you extremely well. I know I can’t always push things out of you like we can with Sutton and I am sorry for yelling at you. Something obviously happened and the fact that you are searching for a new apartment isn’t a good sign. Now let me help you.” I nodded and finally looked at the apartment she had pulled up.

“I ran into Nathan.” I finally said. It was the first thing that wasn’t related to apartment hunting.

Emery looked up and I could tell she was shocked. I waited a few moments for the shock to wear off before I proceeded to tell her everything that happened, including finding out the truth about Damon and what Nathan said about Spencer.

“Dri, you can’t believe Nathan about Spencer. There is no way I would believe that. Come on, it’s Spencer! Is that what this is all about? You want to move out of his apartment because you believe Nathan made him bug it?”

“You think Nathan would bug the apartment?” I screeched and I watched as Emery placed her head in her hands.

“Dri, you are being an idiot. If we were in a movie this would be the moment I slap you across the face for saying something stupid.”

“But Nathan said…” I tried to explain to Emery but she cut me off.

“Don’t Dri. Don’t you dare let Nathan start manipulating you all over again. Just remember what happened in high school. I would have thought after everything that happened you wouldn’t be so stupid as to believe him again”

“No you don’t understand, Nathan said there’s someone in my life that is spying. What if it is Spencer? Look at everything I put Spencer through. Why would someone stick around through it all?”

Emery was quite for a moment before shaking her head, “Dri, you aren’t seeing reason. Spencer stuck around through it all because he loves you, not because Nathan asked him too. Spencer believed you about everything that happened, he has always picked your side. You can’t believe some asshole without talking to Spencer.”

“I can’t talk to Spencer about this, I don’t trust anyone right now and I don’t…” but I couldn’t finish, that was when I broke down in tears.

The Beginning Of The End (The Past)

I was grateful when school finished, it meant I could go home and get away from everything that was going wrong with my life.

Ever since I broke up with Nathan he has been constantly annoying me, sending me presents, text messages, leaving notes in my locker anything to drive me insane. Even when hot guys tried to talk to me at the mall he would scare them off if he noticed them and it was starting to annoy me.

Emery and Sutton both made the suggestion of going to daddy about it all but I couldn’t, I couldn’t tell him what was happening, I was afraid of what would happen if he knew the truth.

I opened the front door and was pleased to know that my mother wasn’t home she was off somewhere with some of her other drunk bad mothers, ever since the break-up she has been convincing me to take Nathan back. Mother just loved Nathan and thought I would have the perfect life with him, but I didn’t want it. Nathan didn’t even approve of me moving away for college.

I knew Lee was staying after school for whatever after school club she had today and daddy was picking her up on the way home.

I was alone for all of five minutes before someone was knocking on the front door, to begin with I was against answering it because I was enjoying my time alone but then it got louder. I reluctantly climbed off the couch and went to answer the door.

I was peeved to see it was Nathan standing on the other side and he was a bouquet of lilies, I hated that he remember they were favourite and they were fast becoming my least favourite because of him.

“Please hear me out baby, I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done” my heart broke at the look on his face.

This was the first time he had apologised for everything but I don’t think he knew why he was apologising exactly. My heart broke at the look on his face, I was still in love with this controlling, manipulating asshole and I hated myself for it.

“Please Dri” he stepped closer to me and placed a hand on my neck and that was my undoing, I stepped away and pulled the door opened so he could enter.

He followed me silently through to the kitchen so I could place the flowers in a vase, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and handed it to him.

“So what exactly are you sorry for Nathan?” I questioned while standing away from him while he was sitting on the breakfast bar.

“Everything, I hate that I lost you. I miss you so much baby”

“But what exactly, lay it out for me”

“Oh come on Dri, don’t play innocent you know exactly what I’m sorry for” the way he said it and the look on his face reminded me why I broke up with him, he was manipulative and I couldn’t take it any longer.

“Yes but do you Nath? Do you understand why I broke up with you? I couldn’t take it anymore, you hated that I was friends with Emery and Sutton”

“They’re bad influences on you baby” I rolled my eyes, he had been spending too much time with my mother. “Don’t roll your eyes at me” he growled as he stood up.

“You can’t tell me what to do, I broke up with you for this reason!” I yelled, grateful that no one was home.

“You don’t know what you are talking about baby, I just want what’s best for you” he voice was soft as he stepped closer to me and I instinctively took a step back not wanting to be close to him, I didn’t want to fall into temptation.

“I know what’s best for me and what I want is to go away for college not stay in this dead beat town”

“But this is home baby, why would you want to leave?”

“Because I don’t want to stay here, I want to get away”

“You want to leave me?” at this point I was backed against the kitchen wall and he was standing directly in front of me. I nodded in response and it was then he turned, he became angry. “You can’t leave me, I won’t let you”

“You don’t have a choice in this, I’m going its final. My acceptance letter turned up yesterday” it was a lie but I hope he believed me.

He obviously didn’t like my answer because it was then his demeanour changed and he looked furious and it was a couple of minutes until he has a hand wrapped around my neck.

I tried to push him off but he was so much bigger than me since he was on the football team. I tried to kick him but it wouldn’t work, he just ended up lifting me off the ground and I was starting to get light headed.

I had no idea what Nathan was saying, I couldn’t hear him as everything was starting to get fuzzy but the one thing that did stand out as clear as day was the gun shot and Nathan immediately let go of me and I dropped to a heap on the ground.

I blacked out after that and have no idea what happened but when I woke up I was lying in a hospital bed, my head was killing me. I tried to lift my head but my neck was sore as well, I noticed daddy standing in the doorway talking to a doctor.

“Daddy?” I managed to croak out but my throat was so sore. He spun around and I could see the relief was over his face before he rushed over and kissed my forehead.

“I’m so glad you’re awake princess, I was so worried about you”

I nodded not even wanting to attempt to speak and he handed me a glass of water and helped me drink from it and the water was so soothing on my sore throat, I was grateful for it.

“We’re going to need to take you down to the station at some point to make a statement about what happened.”

“Daddy it’s not necessary” I didn’t want to do that, I was scared of everything else that would have to come out to the light of day while I was down there.

“Yes it is, I come home early with plans on spending time with you and your sister while your mother was away but yet I walk in and find Nathan pinning you against the wall”

I turned my head and looked out the window frowning at the fact that it was dark, it meant I had been unconscious for a couple of hours or even days.

“Princess, it needs to be stopped. I know you’ve been having issues with him since the break-up”

“Where’s Lee?” I questioned ignoring his statement not even wanting to know how he knew about that.

“At Sarah’s”

I was quiet after that, I didn’t know how he knew about the issues but I didn’t want to talk about it. Even when I was released I didn’t say anything, I was quiet the whole way to the station ignoring his attempts at trying to have a conversation with me.

We were finally allowed to leave the station after who knows how long being there and all I wanted to do was go to sleep, I didn’t want to open up and tell them all about every little detail about my relationship with Nathan and everything that happened afterwards.

“You know I did this because I love you princess” daddy spoke and I looked up at him with the idea of saying something back but instead I screamed at the sight of the bright lights heading towards the car.

When I woke up for the second in a hospital after god knows how long and the sight of Lee sitting in a chair silently sobbing was heart breaking.

“Lee?” I spoke and she lifted her head and looked at me before rushing over and hugging me and I was surprised at how little pain I was in.

It didn’t take long for the doctor to come and see me, apparently I was lucky. I came out with a few cuts and bruises but the only reason I was unconscious was because I hit my head in the car. I asked where my mother was and they said she was unreachable and it was then that I asked about daddy.

“I’m sorry but he didn’t survive the accident, he died on impact”

With that I broke, I just wrapped my arms around Lee not knowing what was going now that he was gone.

Crashing Down

I couldn’t believe it, the two of them sitting there acting all buddy buddy.

This made me question everything, question my whole relationship with Damon. Did he actually care about me or was I just this big loser to him? Did he know what happened between Nathan and I?

“Adrianna.” Nathan greeted me with a grin on his face and I felt sick to my stomach. There was a moment when I loved that boyish grin on him, but now I hated it. It made me sick to my stomach.

I ignored Nathan and looked at Damon. I desperately hoped that I was reading too much into everything and later on we would laugh about this but the look on his face told me all I needed to know.

I shook my head as I turned and left, hoping I could get away from the both of them. I wanted to head back home to talk this out with Emery and Sutton, but Damon had other ideas.

By the time I reached the street Damon had caught up to me and made a grab for my arm preventing me from leaving.

“Dri hear me out, please.” Damon pleaded but I just stared at him for a moment trying to work everything out.

“Why? So you can say you don’t know him? Obviously you do know him! Obviously you know why I don’t like him otherwise you wouldn’t have looked as shocked as you did when I spotted the two of you!” I yelled at him and then realised we were standing in the middle of the street with people walking. I took a step back to get some air.

I watched as Damon opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. It was then I knew I was right. Damon knew what had happened between Nathan and I, well more like Nathan’s side of the events. I just didn’t know how they knew each other.

“Dri, please.” was all he managed to get out in the end and by this stage Nathan had joined us and clapped Damon on the shoulder.

“Are you that pathetic that you had to get Damon to put himself in my life?” I questioned Nathan but all it did was cause him to smirk at me. I was a little scared about what was going on.

“I wouldn’t say pathetic, more like concerned. I don’t like you living in the city all by yourself without me there to protect you. Do you think Damon is the only person I’ve had inserted into your life?” It felt like everything stopped once Nathan started talking.

When I was younger I believed everything that came out of Nathan’s mouth, all the times he told me he wasn’t cheating, that he did love me, that he wanted what was best for me and as much as I hated admitting this, that Emery and Sutton were bad influences on me.

There was a moment where everything came crashing down and I no longer believed the things that came out of his mouth but in this moment, the way he was looking at me and the way it sounded almost made me believe he was telling the truth.

“I don’t believe you.” I finally hissed out and Nathan shook his head.

“Adrianna, just talk to Spencer. Come on Damon we need to go.” Nathan gave Damon a slight shove towards the line of cars, leaving me standing there on the side of the street completely shocked. I didn’t know what to think or believe.

My mind flashed back to the first time I saw Spencer truly mad. It was actually pretty terrifying. It made me question his personality and wonder if what I was seeing was truly him. Up until that moment things had been sweet, caring and perfect but at that moment I was terrified.

I can’t even remember what caused Spencer to snap, all I know was that I wasn’t at fault but I what I do remember was questioning if that was truly him or if what I had seen up until that point was actually Spencer, because his family didn’t seem surprised by his outburst.

Was Nathan right? Did he place Spencer in my life to get closer to me? Is that why I wondered why Spencer’s anger didn’t seem to suit the person I had gotten to know before that point in time?

All I knew was that I needed to go home and talk to Emery and Sutton. I needed to ask Spencer about this and I definitely needed to talk to Lee about the conversation I had earlier with my mother.