Déjà vu

Thank you to everyone for being so understanding in a time like this, I know before the passing my posts were a bit over the place and the only thing I can do is apologise for that.

This post is sort of a bonus as I'm not planning on being back to posting regularly. I'm sorry for the wait but I'm traveling over the holidays and hopefully in the new year I will be able to post more regularly. So for all of you regular readers of mine that I'm hoping I still have, please wait a little bit longer.

 

So it turns out my mother is actually sick and actually has pancreatic cancer and I have no idea how to deal with this information.

Lee was quiet until it was time for her to fly back to Boston. She spent her time studying and I was fine with that because I didn’t know how to deal with it. I needed time to process everything.

The only thing I knew for certain was that Lee had sent both Emery and Sutton a message informing them about what happened but other than that I had no idea.

After I dropped Lee off at the airport I returned home and turned my phone off. I knew she would send me a message informing she would be home but right now I didn’t want to be bothered by anyone and I just hoped that Emery and Sutton knew this would be one of the times I wanted to be left alone.

If everything that had gone wrong in my life recently didn’t happen then I would be relying heavily on Spencer right now, but everything had changed and I didn’t even know if I could trust Spencer right now and turning my phone was another way of preventing me from calling him and falling into a pit that I couldn’t get out of.

I couldn’t even think about my issues about Spencer and Nathan right now. My mother was the one clouding my thoughts. I knew my mother was an alcoholic, there was no denying it and I had hoped that she would stop drinking before we lost her along with our father but now, knowing she has a disease that isn’t even linked to the drinking worries me.

My mother was shocked when she saw both Lee and I turn up for her doctor’s appointment. When she first told me about the appointment I told her I couldn’t attend but I knew I would in hopes of surprising her. We did surprise her and found out the truth as well.

I know in moments like these it is when people really need their family but I don’t know how to be there for a mother who treated me like crap in the worst moment of my life. I was the one that got the blame for my father’s death and I spent more time at either Emery or Sutton’s house instead of my own. My mother was too drunk to attend my high school graduation she didn’t attend my college graduation either.

There were so many aspects of the relationship that I had with my mother that wanted me to turn my back on her during her sickness but I couldn’t turn my back on family no matter the circumstances. I also know that Lee would never forgive me if I wasn’t there for our mother, but how do I be there for someone who was never there for me?

The loud banging on the door pulled me from my thoughts, I sat there for a moment hoping that whoever it was would give up leave, leaving me alone but they didn’t.

I eventually gave up ignoring the banging and decided to answer the door.

“Nathan?” I croaked out when I noticed him standing on the other side, I couldn’t help but notice the strange look on his face and my body tensed up.

“Adrianna, Adrianna, Adrianna.” Nathan spoke while shaking his head, I was just glad he hadn’t taken a step towards me.

“What are you doing here Nathan?”

“I came to inform you on how things should be from now on. I let you take your silly little vacation in the city but now it needs to end. You need to come home and be there for your mother during her sickness and tend to our home.”

“Excuse me? I broke up with you years ago or do you not remember that?”

“No I remember your friends putting horrible ideas in your head. It’s not the best thing for you to live here forever. You should come home and we can be the family we always deserved to have.”

I couldn’t believe this. What was wrong with this guy? I swear most of the time he was annoyed at me for supposably ruining his life by going to the police and having him charged with sexual assault but other times he was acted like I was mentally ill and he was letting me do my own thing.

“Nathan you need to leave, you aren’t welcome here and need to realise that.” I spoke sternly as I attempted to shut the door but he just placed his foot in the way and pushed it back open causing me to stagger backwards.

“No! You need to realise that you are my mine and I will do everything in my power to make sure you realise that.” He spoke bitterly and I was terrified. It was like I was taken back to a similar moment towards the end of high school.

“Nathan I don’t love you anymore, you need to move on. I did.”

All my comment did was cause him to slap me across the face. I stood there in shock cradling the side of my face that was stinging.

“I’m sorry baby but you need to be taught a lesson, you loved me before and that kind of love doesn’t go away.”

“Slapping me won’t cause me to love you anymore,” I narrowed my eyes at him but all he did was smirk at me before shaking his head once again.

“You will learn what will be acceptable in our relationship.” I was terrified by the angry gleam in his eyes.

I tried to take another step back but he reached out and made a grab for my arms pulling me flush against his body before slamming me back against the wall causing my head to bang against the wall.

I let out a moan of pain and tried to pull away but everything started spinning and went fuzzy around the edges. I could just see Nathan’s mouth moving but I couldn’t hear anything coming out of his mouth and it wasn’t long until I slipped into darkness.