Is Everything Ruined?

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and are excited for the beginning of the new year. Take this as a belated Christmas present from me to you.

I have spent a bit of my holidays writing and coming up with ideas on which the story will be going next and what is the plans for the Dri's future so I will be coming back to posting regularly.

My first post will the first Monday of the new year and to begin with it will be every Monday following that and I'm excited to see how you all respond to my ideas.

When I woke up my head was killing me, I couldn’t even remember what happened the night before.

God when did my alarm become this annoying? I reached out in search of my phone to turn my alarm off but it was then I discovered how sore the rest of my body was.

I let out a moan of pain before attempting to find a more comfortable position, “Dri?” I heard my name being called and I recognised the voice but couldn’t place it. If I wasn’t alone why weren’t they shutting my alarm off?

“Dri, please answer me. I need you to wake up” the voice sounded so dejected and I couldn’t help but sympathise with it.

It wasn’t until I felt someone softly press their lips against my head I decided to open my eyes. I instantly squeezed them shut at the bright light. “Too bright,” I attempted to croak out but my throat was incredibly dry.

“Shh, it’s alright I closed the blinds and turned down the lights.”

A hand was stroking my hair and it felt so comforting. I tried opening my eyes again, glad that this time it wasn’t so bright and when I looked around the room looked all too familiar. I was in another hospital room and not just that it was Spencer that was in here with me.

“Spence?” I questioned while pushing aside the confusing emotions I had about him being present. What was he doing here?

“Yeah it’s me, I’ve been so worried about you.” I couldn’t believe how worried he was. It made me question what Nathan was trying to convince me.

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember?” I attempted to shake my head at his question. I’ve woken up in a hospital before and those times I remembered what happened but this, this worried me completely.

“I don’t know the exact details but I went by the apartment to grab some things before heading back to Alec’s and I found you lying limp on the floor and Nathan standing over you.”

Something about Nathan sounded vaguely familiar. I didn’t know if it was because what Spencer said was true or I was just remembering what happened all those years due to the similar circumstances.

I squeezed my eyes closed and turned my head away from where Spencer was standing, I just wanted to wake up and find out all of this was a bad, bad dream.

“Get some more rest, I’m not going anywhere.”

Spencer spoke softly, before I even felt his lips against my skin I felt his warm breath and I couldn’t help it when I shifted away from him ignoring the pain my body was in. I couldn’t be pulled into this again, not this time not while having no idea what exactly happened and if Spencer had anything to do with this.

When I woke up again I wasn’t in as much pain as I was before, I assumed the doctors had given me more pain killers but it was when I opened my eyes that I was shocked.

There was a part of me hoping Spencer would still be here like he told me but he was nowhere to be found, although I was glad I wasn’t alone. Emery was standing by the window and the look on her face was way too similar for comfort, it was the same look on her face when we were 18.

I might have never told them about what happened between Nathan and myself before my father was killed in the car accident but they had suspected it since there was bruising on my body that couldn’t be explained by the car accident and Nathan was acting strangely.

“Emery?” I was relived to notice it was easier to talk this time round.

When I first spoke with Spencer earlier it was hard and it hurt, I hoped that my neck wasn’t damaged again this time.

Emery’s head turned at the sound of my voice, “Hey, you. I was wondering when you were going to wake up again.”

“Again, so I really am in here?” She nodded in response as she walked over and sat beside me in the bed.

“Yes you are, Spencer said something about Nathan beating you senseless.”

“Apparently, I don’t remember what happened. What is Spencer even doing here? How do we know he wasn’t involved in this whole thing with Nathan and he’s just keeping up appearances?”

“Not this again, Dri. He’s been incredibly worried about you. The only reason he isn’t here right now is because he’s in a work meeting to find out if he can come back home. It’s why he was here for the weekend in the first place.”

I didn’t know what to say in response to Emery because; I didn’t know how to respond to Spencer moving back. I really needed to work out if I believe what Nathan said about how Spencer was placed in my life to keep an eye on me.

“Dri I’ve told you this before. He loves you. Anyone can see that since its plain as day. You know I’m not the sappy romantic but when the two of you are together, you both light up and change the mood of everyone around you and you both make each other better. Talk to Spencer about this, he deserves to have a say.”

“What do I deserve to have a say about?” I jumped at the sound of Spencer’s voice, not expecting him to come back anytime soon.

“I have to head off now anyway, talk to him Dri.”

“Emery…” I called after her but all she did was give me a warning look before kissing Spencer’s cheek and leaving the two of us alone.

“Now before I ask what you and Emery were talking about, I do have one question. I have not seen this boyfriend of yours. Alec seemed as shocked as I was when I brought it up with him and when I tried to ask Emery she would change the subject, if it wasn’t for the fact that Sutton is in LA for work I would ring her as well.”

I shook my head and attempted to roll over, I didn’t want to have this conversation. I wanted to work it out in my head, everything changed between Spencer and I the moment I told him I had a boyfriend. I couldn’t believe I was willing to throw out what could have been with Spencer for Damon and Nathan’s insistence of keeping an eye on me.

“Dri I know I don’t deserve you to open up to me with you having a boyfriend but I do deserve to know something. Emery refuses to tell me and I entered my apartment to find you unconscious on the floor.”

I refused to open my eyes and we stayed like that in silence for who knows how long, when I opened my eyes Spencer was sitting across from me in one of the armchairs. I decided now would be the best time to talk to Spencer about this, if for some reason he was working with Nathan and he became really angry then nothing would happen while I’m in here.

“It’s all linked. I don’t have a boyfriend anymore, well actually I’m a little unsure since I haven’t spoken to him but he’s friends with Nathan. Apparently Nathan asked him to put himself into my life in hopes of spying on me. I found out. It could be partially why you found me in the apartment with Nathan, I’m still unsure of those details.”

I was surprised to see how calm he stayed, I suspected him to be furious about this considering how he was when he met Nathan in the middle of a club.

“Okay, well what does Emery think I deserve to know?”

“Nathan tried to convince me that he put you in my life as well, Emery’s been telling me that I should talk to you because I was being an idiot to believe him over what I know of you.”

I didn’t know how he was going to react to this information, but he just sat there almost like he was trying to process what I told him and it does sound bad. I literally told him that I trusted some guy who abused me as a teenage over the guy who has done nothing but show me he loved and cherished me during the time we were together.

“I don’t understand what hold this guy has over you. I know I don’t understand everything that happened between the two of you when you were in high school but do you really believe what he said? I know I’ve made mistakes, I know I shouldn’t have requested that break between the two of us and me moving to London for work didn’t help. But think about it Dri, would I have done either of those things if I was placed in your life by Nathan?”

I closed my eyes and shook my head, it sounds crazy hearing it like that. Spencer hated being in London away from our friends, and me. If he was just in my life because of Nathan I don’t think he would have gone to London. The break up was painful but he’s right, he definitely wouldn’t have done that if he were spying.

“I’m sorry,” I finally replied softly but I still couldn’t look at him.

“Don’t be sorry, just don’t ever question the love I have for you again.”

That got me, not once since I had woken up had he used the word love. It was all Emery that had been saying he loved me. I finally opened my eyes and looked at him, his face was calm but it was only because of how well I knew him that I saw the hurt and betrayal in his eyes.

“You still love me?” I stuttered out not able to hide my surprise, there was a part of me that made dealing with my guilt over dating Damon that kept saying that Spencer had moved on as well.

“Of course I do Dri, nothing has changed.”

My eyes welled up and not because of happiness. I had no idea if I still loved Spencer or not. My feelings for Spencer were pushed aside because of Damon and now I was worried that I was the one that ruined everything.