Sunday 15 May 2016

It All Comes Out



First off I want to a note stating I have never been in therapy, nor do I know a therapist to get any help on this post with.

If any of my readers are therapists or have been in therapy themselves and this post is far from the truth I do apologise, I believe that this is the only way for Dri and Spencer to get past their issues. This is the only post that will cover their therapy sessions for obvious reasons while the rest do get mentioned from time to time.

If anyone can help me improve this post then I am all ears. 

*** 22nd May ***
I have updated a little bit at the end of their therapy session before they leave after someone had left a comment mentioning how what I wrote isn't realistic, so I have changed it in hopes things will be more realistic.


I stared at the therapist Jess, she wanted us to do what?

We had seen Jess for a couple of sessions now, and she wanted us to do this now? What the hell were her credentials again?

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Spencer questioned and I’m glad one of us was able to speak.

“I said I believe there is a lot of unspoken resentment between the two of you and I think it should come out. So start.” She looked at us as if she asked us what our favourite colours were.

“How could that work, what if it makes things worse?” I finally spoke.

“You are both here trying to work on your separate issues as well as the issues in your relationship, you can’t work on the issues in your relationship unless they get brought up.”

Neither Spencer nor I said anything in response, we looked at Jess. It was obvious she didn’t have anything to say, she just wanted us to speak to each other.

I looked at Spencer and he looked at me, he was worried about what was going to happen and if I was being honest I was as well.

“I hate that you panicked as soon as that letter from Nathan turned up you panicked and left, you couldn’t handle it. You didn’t even stick around long enough to see what would happen with him.”

“You want to go back that far? Fine, how about you not telling me about Nathan to begin with? So much had been kept from me, do I know it all now or is there still more surprises waiting for me?”

“No…” I spoke softly while hanging my head.

We went silent after that, it was like we were avoiding the real topic of discussion.

“What else are you keeping from me while you were in London? Was it just Scarlett you had sex with or were there others?”

Spencer took a deep breath before speaking, I had a feeling it wouldn’t be good. “Yes there were others…”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME ALL THIS TIME AND YOU REFUSED TO TELL ME ABOUT THEM!”

“You had Damon Dri, what the hell was I meant to do. Sit around in my hotel room and do sweet fuck all?”

“At least I told you about Damon, you didn’t tell me shit! I had hear about how depressed and broken you were from everyone, or were they lying?”

“We barely spoke after you told me about Damon, I didn’t know where we stood so I didn’t see the point.”

“What about before Damon?” it came out barely a whisper, I don’t know if I wanted to hear the answer.

“Just one, afterwards it just made me realise how much I missed you. The following morning I sent you those plane tickets to come see me.”

“You what, oh god Spencer that’s disgusting. You were thinking of me while you were having sex with some girl, how many times have you thought about other people while you were having sex with me?” I yelled at him and he flinched.

“None Dri, I love you only you.”

“Some love, you were the one that suggested we sat down and cleared the air about what happened while we were broken up but yet you didn’t tell me any of this, why Spence?” my eyes welled up, I didn’t realise just how much it would hurt having him deceive me this much.

“Because when you told me it was just those two, I chickened out. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“But yet I’m hurt now Spence.”

“It’s understandable but what about me? You were dating someone else, I had to deal with the fact you found someone else, someone who you thought was better than me! And yet you were the one telling me you couldn’t trust me!” Spencer yelled and I turned around so I wasn’t looking at him.

He was furious and I was crying, why the hell did our therapist think this was a good idea again?

“There if that seems to be everything, I understand you both aren’t happy but it will be better in the end for you two now that everything is out in the open.” I wanted to scoff but I didn’t have the energy.

"Dri?" I heard Spencer question softly but I refused to look at him, it wasn't until he placed a hand on my neck that I finally did.

All of Spencer's previous anger was gone noticing that I was crying, he reached up and wiped away my tears.

"I do trust you, I'm just scared." My voice was low and quiet but he nodded.

"I know babe and I'm sorry for everything, lying and keeping secrets from you. I honestly didn't want to hurt you like this." I jerked my head out of his hands.

All I've heard from him in regards to Scarlett and the rest of the women was that he was sorry and he didn't want to hurt me, but it doesn't change the fact that I am hurting, now because of it.

"Is there anything you would like to say to Spencer to Dri, he apologies for lying, what about you? You kept secrets as well." Jess questioned and I looked at her.

"Yes about Nathan and everything that happened when I was eighteen, I honestly thought that part of my life was over so I didn't see the point in telling Spencer about him. I told him what I thought he should know, how was I meant to know that Nathan was going to come back?" I questioned but Jess didn't show any movements or say anything to begin with and I wondered as to if she actually heard me.

"But Nathan reappeared and nothing else was said." Jess finally spoke.

"Nathan reappeared and Spencer also took off..." I muttered and I heard Spencer let out a sigh beside me, I snuck a look at the clock, grateful for that to be the end of our session.

“And that is the end of our session, I think from now on we should have separate sessions and I will revaluate after that.” I didn’t say anything, I just grabbed my bag and stormed out not even bothering to make my next appointment, I figured I would ring once I’ve calmed down.

“Dri please stop,” I heard Spencer’s voice, my steps faltered and I turned to look at him.

"I just need some space," I spoke quietly before walking over and softly kissing his cheek. I left after that, not letting him get another word in knowing he had to pay the bill this session.

I walked out of the bathroom after having a shower to see Spencer sitting on the bed, “what are you doing here? Worried I found someone else and they would be in my bed?”

“That was a cheap shot Dri, I have never once questioned if you would cheat on me.”

“But yet you had no problem jumping into someone else’s bed as soon as we broke up.”

“That’s not true, it was ages after your birthday that the first one happened. I know it’s not an excuse but I was out drinking with some of the people in the London office…”

“Was the first one Scarlett?”

“No, the first one was just some random girl at the bar but I meant what I said, it made me realise how much I missed you. Then you turned up and told me you found someone else, I figured if you could date someone then I could do what I want and not worry about hurting you anymore.”

I walked over and pulled out some clothes and got dressed before joining him on my bed.

“Please tell me you got tested before having sex with me again…”

“That’s all you’ve got to say, no joke about me being a man whore or whatever just that I might have caught something.” I looked at him and he had a small smile on his face.

“What was the deal with Scarlett? Alec mentioned something how he was unsure as to what was going on between the two of you.”

“Scarlett works with me but based in the London office, I believe now she is doing the job they wanted me to do. It was just a friends with benefits arrangement.” Spencer reached over to grab my hand but I pulled it away from him.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me all of this, why did you have to hide it from me?”

“Because I hate seeing you like this,” he reached over and wiped my tears away, I was glad his hand didn’t stay on my face.

“You wouldn’t have been able to keep from me forever.”

“I know and I’m so sorry babe.”

“No other secrets or resentment towards me?”

“Well aside from me still dealing with you finding someone else there is one more secret.”

“Spencer!” I scolded and he flinched slightly before grabbing my hands, I couldn’t even pull them away.

“It’s nothing like that I promise, my mother is back on that arranged marriage deal again.”

“So Rose is back?” I was told about Rose early in our relationship, before I had met his parents. He wanted me to have some warning in case she was mentioned but I had always assumed he had solved that issue.

“Yes…” I shook my head before standing up and leaving him alone in my room.

3 comments:

  1. Having them air out the issues surg each other can happen in therapy but just ending after that without bringing it to a close or getting them calm is not proper. I'm speaking from both sides of the "couch"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Having them air out the issues surg each other can happen in therapy but just ending after that without bringing it to a close or getting them calm is not proper. I'm speaking from both sides of the "couch"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for that, I have changed it up slightly and hope it is more realistic.

      Delete