The judge spoke, Harvey looked at me, and I couldn’t remember any of it. It was all a blur to me.
As soon as I was allowed to leave the Court room, I did. I went straight outside hoping for some fresh air to clear my head and make some sense of what happened. I knew Harvey wouldn’t follow me straight away. He would take care of what he had to and then ring me to let me know we had to talk but until that phone call came through I was allowed some space.
“Hey, are you alright?” I heard Spencer’s voice but it wasn’t until his arms came around me that I relaxed. “Shh, everything is going to be okay.” Spencer softly rubbed my back and instead of focusing on what just happened, I recalled the events of what happened last night.
“Because I love you Spencer…” his hands instantly dropped from my face and I was hurt by the action.
He just told me only a few seconds ago that he still loved me and here he was, acting like he was electrocuted at the idea of me saying that I loved him. I had worked it out but was too scared to say anything in case things had changed for him and we were just friends, and that was it.
Even the first time the words I love you came out for both of us was in an argument. Neither of us were exactly emotional people. We didn’t always voice how we felt and if one of us was annoyed we stayed silent until we exploded.
“Spence?” I finally spoke, breaking the silence.
I was unnerved by what he was doing, He was just staring at me and I didn’t know what to think of it. If we hadn’t seen each other in ages then yes maybe I would have thought he would be taking it all in but I saw him only yesterday.
But he still never said anything in reply. He stepped forward, he gripped the back of my neck while his other hand went to my lower back and he pulled me as close as possible to him before roughly kissing me and at first I was shock and didn’t move.
It didn’t take long for me to start kissing him back and it wasn’t long after that, that we started removing each other’s clothes and falling on top of my bed.
It was amazing being with Spencer like this, I forgot just how good it could be with him. Every now and then we both stopped, just to take in each other. It had been way too long since we had been like this and I was reason for that.
It wasn’t until I realised that me dating Damon put a wedge between us when he returned that I pulled away from him.
“Dri what’s wrong?” Spencer’s face was full of concern as he stroked my cheek. I hated that I was still feeling conflicted by everything that’s happened.
“It’s all my fault,” I spoke as tears started to blur my vision. I watched as Spencer hung his head before shifting closer to me. I knew he was frustrated that I pulled away in the middle of sex.
“Hey nothing is your fault, don’t ever think that.” He cupped my face and wiped away the tears that escaped.
“But if I hadn’t started seeing Damon then we would….”
I wasn’t even allowed to finish that sentence before Spencer cut me off. “Don’t even start on that Dri, don’t think it. You couldn’t have known that Damon was friends with Nathan and all that stuff was going to happen.”
After that everything sort of blended together and Spencer spent more time trying to convince me that I did nothing wrong. I was following what we both agreed to before he left.
We both agreed that we would break up and see what happens. If one of us dated someone else we couldn’t be mad and Spencer wasn’t.
We didn’t end up finishing what we started and I suspected that Spencer went off and had a cold shower once I had fallen asleep. I tried to apologise this morning for it but he wouldn’t hear a word of it.
In fact this morning he kept trying to convince me to let him come today, to be there for me. Except I kept telling him no but he turned up anyway and I didn’t know if I was annoyed or grateful.
“You know I told you not to come today,” I pulled away slightly so I could face him but all he did was grin at me.
“And you actually thought I was going to listen to you? Come on surely you know that if Sutton wasn’t in Paris and Emery didn’t have that big client meeting they would both be here as well.”
“I know…. thank you.”
“Anytime, isn’t it what boyfriends are for?” that’s when it hit me, we haven’t actually spoken about anything.
Last night we both said I love you but we hadn’t spoken about what was going to change, it was like we both forgot what broke us up in the first place.
Spencer must have seen my concerns written on my face, because he frowned before stroking my cheek. “Dri you just said last night that you loved me, I’ve been waiting on you to decide if we were going to give us another shot.”
“I know that but I never once said we were back together, we’ve both said on multiple occasions that we needed to fix what was broken between us. Remember you broke up with me long before you were sent to London!” I yelled at him and it was then I realised that we were standing out in public.
“I know, but Nathan’s gone. He can’t harass you anymore, or did you not pay attention in there?”
“No I paid attention, I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe that a restraining order was put in place as well as jail time, it doesn’t seem real Spence.” I spoke and something in my voice must have worried Spencer, he didn’t say anything in response.
All he did was look at me for a moment before wrapping an arm around me and holding me close. It was exactly what I needed in that moment.
It was true, I couldn’t believe that another judge has sided with me on this whole thing with Nathan. I couldn’t believe that he was getting jail time due to him attacking me and hospitalizing me. Once that was finished another restraining order was being put in place, this one was a bit more serious than the last because this time he couldn’t contact Lee or my mother.
My phone ran breaking the silence that was still standing between Spencer and I, when I pulled away and looked at my phone I noticed it was Harvey calling me.
“Come on, I promise we will have this talk Dri.” Spencer spoke as he laced his fingers with mine and lead me back inside the Court house in search of Harvey.